February 17, 2007 From Mike to his psychiatrist:
1. I have not gone for the blood levels yet. I will go Monday after fasting from 9 PM Sunday. Thursday night I was so upset over the stolen $10,000 I woke up at 3 AM and chugged about a pint of OJ and then realized what I had done. I didn't start the fast again on Friday because we had a late dinner engagegment. So I'll fast Sunday and have the levels drawn Monday AM. Sorry.
2. But more, I put myself and Jenna thru hell on Tursday night. I was overwhelmed with the belief that anything I ever tried to do again would be cursed. It's pretty clear that the gov't intercepted the package. Fortunately, on Friday, (though we didn't know this Thursday night) the man who sent the money released the books back to us and said he was sorry he didin't beter protect the money. That essentially left us back where we started, with 4,000 books in an LA warehouse with $1,700 in overdue fees. I have since turned it all over to X who might be able to scrape something together out of a patchwork of contacts. I don't know if I'll ever see a penny. He deserately needs a hernia operation and since he's there with the books I'll let him have his shot. But on Thursday night and Friday AM (before the message) I was suicidial again. I made sure that Jenna wouldn't make any calls that would get me back to Bellevue. It was very hard on her. I selfishly shared different ways that I could do it. I see that I was just tryng to get her (someone) to understand my pain now and have let her know how sorry I am for that. I was torturing her. I was just so sick of the cold, the isolation and the powerlessness. I read the emails she sent out desperately to close friends of mine the next day. I couldn't help it. I just felt so helpless and hopeless. Late Friday AM is when the message came in that at last we could still sell the books if we could find a buyer at this late date. (Legally, the guy who sent the $10,000 could have taken the books and the law would have supported him.)
3. BETTER NEWS -- Last night we reunited with an old 9-11 activist who I had met in 2002, Nick Levis, who I had worked with both here and in Germany. He's a brilliant guy and was right on the money the whole way... it was because the 9-11 moement had been so successfully sidetracked and subverted by the governement that it is now just a comical, ludicrous joke and a self-serving cottage industry. There is a syndrome here. Nick and I are going to stay close and talk frequently. It is so obvious we need each other...
4. Tonight Jenna and I are going out with two friends from the Peak Oil movement for more socializing. I definitely do better when I interact with people. Sorry for the length. But I knew I needed to let you know how bad I was Thursday night. I swore I would never go back to Bellevue. Not like before. That's as honest as I can be and I know that if I am to benefit from your generosity and care I owe you complete honesty. Mike
Mike wonders if his psychiatrist has an obligation to act on what he told her. But he couldn't stop himself; it’s not in his nature to withhold information.
Also this evening he got an email from Ray, forwarding an email from the LAPD cop whose lost friendship he'd been lamenting.
He repeated the name of his friend over and over, in wonder. “You know that if he wants to see me out in LA, I’m going.”
But his excitement was short-lived, for reasons relayed in the email below to Larry Chin and Sandor Hicks, with Ray cc'ed:
Hi all -
The government campaign against Mike marches on. The latest front is Wikipedia where the article on Mike says:
"On December 4, 2006, as reported by the Ashland Daily Tidings, Mike Ruppert/From the Wilderness was sued by their landlord, Aro Partners, for back rent owed on the Ashland office space. In the same article it was confirmed that Ruppert is, in fact, an official suspect in the burglary of said office space back in July of '06. [28]" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Ruppert
It is the last sentence in that passage which is patently false and which we need to refute. If you google Michael Ruppert, the Wikipedia article on him comes up second. Someone has seen to it that it gets a high google ranking by putting links to it in other Wikipedia articles, for instance on "Scholars for Truth" and "Loose Change."
Mike's lawyer, Ray Kohlman, who is cc'ed on this email, has confirmed with the Ashland Police Department that Mike is not, and never has been, a suspect in the burglary of his own offices. Ray's phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. The Ashland Police Department is: xxx-xxx-xxxx. The Case Number is xx-xxxx.
We were wondering if you two would be interested in writing a short article on this. Ray: Sandor and Larry are two great journalists and friends of Mike. (Btw, as you undoubtedly realize, I would do this article myself but for possible allegations of conflict of interest.)
As you will see from my correspondence with Wikipedia below, they are refusing to change the article on Mike without other journalistic evidence to refute the allegations of the Ashland Tidings and its progeny. This is why we're asking you if you could write a brief one.
MANY THANKS FOR ANY HELP YOU CAN GIVE!!
Jenna
Correspondence with Wikipedia:
Dear Jennakilt@aol.com,Thank you for your mail.Jennakilt@aol.com écrit [wrote]: Dear Wikipedia: The current article about Mike Ruppert on your website contains a grossly incorrect, libellous statement that Ruppert has been "confirmed" as a suspect in the burglary of the offices of his own company, Fromthewilderness.com. In fact the Ashland Police Department has confirmed to Ruppert's lawyer, Ray Kohlman who is cc'ed on this email, that Ruppert has never been a suspect; his status is, and always has been, solely that of victim. The current Wikipedia article grossly interferes with Ruppert's ability to get a job or accomplish other eminently worthy endeavors which he is currently pursuing. Please correct this inaccurate, injurious statement immediately. Thank you greatly for your consideration of this matter. Jenna Orkin, Former Researcher and current Blog Administrator, etc. Fromthewilderness.com.
[Wikipedia's response, obviously from a French speaker:]
I've made some research, and found out some newspapers saying that MichaelRuppert has been considered as a potential suspect. Do you have sources to give me saying Michael Ruppert has never been a suspect, it's the only way we have to change that he is suspect into he is the victim. Yours sincerely, XXX-- Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org---Disclaimer: all mail to this address is answered by volunteers, and responses are not to be considered an official statement of the Wikimedia Foundation. For official correspondence, you may contact the site operators at http://www.wikimediafoundation.org.
To Peter Dale Scott
February 18, 2007
Thank you so much for your expansive, generous and wise response re mike a couple of days ago. At his request, I read it aloud to him.
Thank God he's now told his shrink about his state of mind so the weight of that knowledge doesn't rest entirely on my shoulders. But I still need to be careful not to get sucked into the vortex of his thinking which can lead to the conclusion that interfering with his suicide would be to deprive him of the opportunity to die with honor. Surely between that and shackles at Bellevue lies some acceptable third option.
His frustration is reasonable: The latest front of the gvt campaign against him is Wikipedia which has so far refused to remove the entirely false allegation that he is or was a suspect in the burglary of his own office. That allegation has been refuted by the Ashland Police Department.
He greatly appreciated your email. The connection to you and other friends is what's getting him through this precarious time.
*******
“I can’t kill myself today; it’s too cold.”
Another sympathetic email from Peter Dale Scott, underscoring the ways in which Mike's situation diverges from that of Gary Webb at the time of Webb's suicide. Uppermost among them is that Mike's social support system is wider and stronger.
To Peter Dale Scott:
I've shared your email with Mike who understands and appreciates the depth of thought and effort that went into it and also thanks you. I said, "As in those old movies where one guy slaps another and the other says, 'Thanks, I needed that?'" He said yes.
It was especially important for him to hear the distinctions you drew between his situation and Gary Webb's. He has a tendency to look at Gary and a few others as predecessors which would make suicide his destiny as though he had no say in the matter.
At the moment, destiny is indeed conspiring with Mike to paint him into a corner. It's cold out and his medical conditions or medication make him even colder. This keeps him indoors and isolated.
But he wants to get a job or volunteer work which is why it's important to correct the wikipedia business as Mike's lawyer is trying to do.
Meanwhile I get the Aristotelian pleasure of exercising a hefty per cent of my faculties.
A reply from Peter Dale Scott offers generous words about my role in Mike's welfare.
To Peter Dale Scott
gulp. that's one perception i'm keeping under wraps. i try to emphasize to mike how many people care about him which they do; they write to the blog or to me or ray (his lawyer.)
today he had another setback when his shrink 'fired' him. i think she got scared, understandably. so now we have to find another. [This turned out to be entirely false. Shrinks can't back out of a case because they're afraid the patient might kill himself; on the contrary, their commitment becomes all the stronger. The reason for Mike's having to leave his shrink was logistical; if my memory is correct, she was simply moving her practice out of the city.]
also ray's gotten busy with a new client.
so one can understand why he feels things are closing in.
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