Spitzer, We Hardly Knew Ye But Don't Let That Stop Us From Opining

Jenna Orkin


Thank God for Eliot Spitzer. Not only did the White Knight/Client 9 rescue us from the siege of CNN by Britney Spears; he also cleverly timed his fall from his high horse (in German, "Spitze" means "top") to camouflage the far greater implosion of the street whose own dirty tricks he'd investigated.

Such heroism comes at a price, of course. The knight's shining armor has gotten bloody in the process. So while the Ph.D.'s weigh in, from blame-the-wife Dr. Laura to "Go figure" Dr. Janet Taylor, with equal relish (though less censure) I leap into the fray not as a shrink but, in true New York tradition, as an ex-analysand.

The titillating bit about this uniquely American scandal (uniquely American not because of the behavior, which was cliche, but because of our professed shock) is the abrasive prosecutor's self-destructiveness. He had powerful enemies but in the end, he was his own worst etc., etc. Like a criminal returning to the scene of the crime until the cops finally nab him; like a fireman who reveals his inner pyromania by setting a record-breaking fire, Spitzer threw his career on the very sword with which he had won it.

For there can be little doubt that a piece of him wanted to get caught. Spitzer was not just any politician discovered red-handed, with his pants down. (Sex turns all metaphors into double entendres.) He was the former Attorney General who had ridden to fame investigating prostitution rings.

While this conundrum has elicited outraged cries of, "Hypocrite!" such epithets don't get us very far. ("Karma" is another one that's been going and coming around.) What was said "hypocrisy" made of? The scourge of money-laundering schemes knew how to follow the money. And therefore, better than anyone, he knew how to leave a trail of breadcrumbs.

So far at least eight breadcrumbs have been discovered, possibly amounting to $80,000. They were left in a pattern known as 'smurfing' which, as Spitzer certainly knew, raises red flags with banks' compliance officers.

But why did he do it? Was it guilt? Exhibitionism? The lure of an auto-inflicted auto da fe? Was the governorship less fun than he'd hoped?

Such questions are beyond the reach of at least this idle speculator. But throw out a few more details. The sharks' appetities have only been whetted.